Throughout our lives, our sex lives will change, ebbing and flowing in different patterns, and directions. This change is not necessarily a negative thing, however we may move away from the type of eroticism that we feel is ‘fun, erotic and exciting,’ to ‘safe and comfortable’... whether that’s in a relationship, or out of a relationship.
So how can we maintain a hot sex life when we have been feeling a little ‘flat’ with ours? Here are 5 of my favourite ways to inject some spice back into your sex life:
Sex needs to be a priority
Communicate openly and honestly with yourself and/or your sexual partner about what your needs are. It's completely normal that when life gets stressful we may have put self-pleasure or sex at the lower end of the priority list. We might believe that there simply isn't enough time in the day to be erotic. However, it’s important to make the time, even just a very small amount, to be intimate and sensual with yourself or your partner.
Start looking at your lifestyle and what is helping or hindering your erotic life
What are you doing to make sure you are prioritising eroticism? Do you take time to look after yourself? Time for self-care? What about time for self-pleasure? I dare you to take a night off where you pop on some candles, have a hot shower with essential oils in it, play a sex playlist and play with yourself. You deserve it, baby!
Are you in a relationship that needs a little bit of sexual healing?
Maybe sex has been put on the back burner… let’s make it centre stage. The number one tip I have here is, don’t make it so serious. Sexual play should be fun and flirty. Maybe trying some flirty texts during the day to ignite some fantasies before you get home, getting our partners thinking about playtime before you even kiss hello.
Step out of the bedroom
Yep, you heard me say it… the bedroom is so predictable! If the bedroom is our only place of erotic play, it’s time to venture out into your new erotic playground. Homes usually have more rooms than just the bedroom, so maybe it's time to try a few of them out! Showers can add new sensations of water and steam, couches are great for position experimentation and who doesn’t love the kitchen counter. Basically, just step a little bit outside your erotic comfort zone. I guarantee you, you will love it!
It’s time to switch up your erotic menu
Try new positions, listen to some audioporn, purchase some new sex toys or maybe just add some flavoured lube for oral play! You don’t need to get overwhelmed pulling out the karma sutra and go through every position, but maybe just doing a position you don’t always do, or just trying out one new position that excites you. While the position itself may not become the new favourite, the fun of trying one new thing may lead to trying many more.
About the Author
Chantelle is an award-winning psycho-sexologist who is passionate about empowering people to feel great about their sexual health, self-esteem, communication and education. With a background in scientific research, sexual medicine, and counselling, she believes good sexual health should always be enjoyable, pain free and without prejudice. Follow Chantelle on Instagram.
This information is intended for those of legal age to participate in sexual activities. JSHealth supports safe sex. If you are experiencing sexual difficulties (physical, psychological or emotional), please consult a medical professional.